I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
