I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Randomize
