One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
