haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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