Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
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