For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
