I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I just want to make out with him forever
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
