with your own penis?
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Randomize
