It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
