do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
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