TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
