I hate all girls vehemently.
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize