Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
I didn't notice because vodka
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
