dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Randomize
