Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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