She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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