Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
we made out on top of his cat.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
