Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
