Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Randomize