check it out our google latitudes are spooning
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
