This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
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