nut hugger
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
