i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
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