I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
Randomize
