At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
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