This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Randomize
