Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
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