Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
