Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
