Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
