even my farts smell like vagina
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize