thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
