so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
