OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize
