I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Randomize
