Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Randomize
