well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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