You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Randomize
