I can't watch pbs sober anymore
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize
