it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
My bed smells like the plague
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
I currently don't understand fingers.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
