I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
