dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Randomize
