first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
