hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
