he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
