i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
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