Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize
