i permit you to call me
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
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