Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize