I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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