I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
