Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
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