i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
You need a sexual gate keeper
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
