Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
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