he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
I got her a Nickelback box set.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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