Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
