Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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