Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Randomize
